Hi all,
In this message I want to provide more detail of what the initial circling workshop, tentatively scheduled for Sunday, October 13th, will entail. I have two goals for this message. Firstly, I want to attempt to describe why one engages in circling. I already know, like any practice with transformative potential, that words will not do it justice. I ask for an extension of grace for my inability to capture the essence of the practice here. My second goal is much easier; namely to sketch an outline of what the practice will concretely consist of.
It’s often easier to describe what something isn’t before describing what it is. Circling is not a substitute for therapy. This is for multiple reasons. The obvious one is that none of us are licensed therapists (yet!) and are not qualified nor appropriately suited to provide therapeutic care in this setting. Secondarily, often a role of therapist comes with a level of professional acumen and relational distance from their client that may be helpful in the therapy session but not in circling. We are not here to solicit advice or tell others what they should or shouldn’t do. This practice asks for a different approach; one where we are more like fellow travelers walking with each other on a shared path towards greater connection.
This brings me to the magic of this practice. In coming together, sharing how we are experiencing the circle and deepening our understanding of others with us, a harmony and collective spirit starts to take shape. Egos began to dissolve and make way for an expansive, powerful source of love that everyone can feel. A metaphor might be helpful here. I just rewatched a movie called “The Boys in the Boat,” a harrowing story of a group of underdog rowers vying for the 1936 Olympic crown. Upon reflecting years later to his grandson, the protagonist said, “We were not eight men. We were one boat.” There was a living presence imbued in the boat that transcended any one rower. It was the result of the rhythmic attunement of everyone acting in perfect sync with each other. This is the same with the circle. It is its own source of light stitched by our connection with each other. As churchgoers, it is a profound feeling of loving God and loving your neighbor.
Now for the nuts and bolts of the practice. For this first session, I am aiming for it to be approximately an hour. We will start with a mini activity and then move into the circle. A classic, authentic relating game, we will split off into pairs and go back and forth using the sentence stems: “when I’m with you, I notice…” followed by the other person saying, “hearing that, I feel…” This might sound quite elementary, but you would be surprised how much depth you can uncover just doing this. Following some time for reflections on this activity, we will start the circle. I will be the facilitator and ask for a volunteer to be circled. This is the person whose experience will be the focus of our attention. They can bring anything currently relevant to their life to their circle. That could be a relationship, something at work, or a more general feeling or attitude they want to process. They could also elect to do a phenomenological circle which is where they start sharing what is coming up for them in the here and now. I will explain more about my style of facilitating and the role of the rest of the participants before we start.
I hope this starts to illustrate the picture of this practice more and provides you with a better idea of what to expect. Please reach out to me with any questions you may have. Again, I am so excited to bring this practice to our church. I think it will be wonderful for our community.
Warmly,
Michael Deklerk